Its so hot its offensive. Ridiculous. Painful! 

Today its going to feel like its over 100, and there's just barely a 20% chance of rain so almost no chance for a cool down. Unless you are a celeb with a jet that can take you to Miami...

photo credit to getty images

I found this list of ways to "beat the heat" (hey cheesy line) from The Stir... some of them seem great but others? No way! Here's the list with my commentary!

  • Frogg Toggs Chilly Pad. "The entire family can chill out with these neck wraps. Just rinse with cool water and wear for hours of comfort. ($13.95, froggtoggs.com)" ...What? A Neck Wrap? When its hot I can barely put on a bathing suit let alone a neck towel. Save your $14 and get a cold shower.
  • Ice your pulse points. "Take along a sealed baggie full of ice and periodically rest it on your wrists and temples for a couple minutes every hour. A cold bottle of water will do the trick too." Ehh... this seems like it could work. Though I bet a cold beer can works better than ice...
  • Zoku Quick Ice Pop Maker. Store this in your freezer and anytime you want a super-fast, refreshing treat, pour juice into the molds and it freezes in minutes. ($49.95, brookstone.com) WHAT?! $50 for a popsicle maker? Someone needs to tell them about icy pops which can cost about 20 cents each
  • Battery operated touch fan. The perfect breeze on the go. ($21, safetycentral.com) Okay I'll give them this.
  • Stay away from spicy foods. You know that burning feeling you get in your mouth when you munch on a pepper? Well your whole body heats up too. When the temps rise, opt for anything else but spicy eats. Now technically, in warmer climates around the world you will find spicy food. Traditionally, spices can help keep food from rotting, which happens faster in hot weather. But I love spicy food in hot weather! They seem to go hand in hand for me... plus when you get sweating you cool down a bit!